PORTERPARK DIARIES

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why is this so hard?

on October 05, 2010

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Inspirational quote

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SPRING IS FAKING ITS ENTRANCE

I took a few minutes after my Friday meeting at the COB to wander in the springtime sun, bright blue skies, and dancing clouds above Temple Square. My heart was happy to be back at one of my favorite places with the warmth on my skin and I couldn't help but capture those moments. I don't think there's a bad angle of this place...

PATIENCE. A LIFE LONG LESSON...

(FYI I finally changed to a new url to match our name! Yay! Please change your bookmarks to porterparkdiaries.blogspot.com ) "Patience is not the ability to wait but how you act while you are waiting." This has resonated with me for a few years now. As most of you know, we are still waiting for our opportunity to be parents. At the beginning of our waiting period, I was easily jealous of those people who got children when they wanted them. I sincerely wanted to be happy for them, but my heart would ache so deeply that I really had to practice forgiveness and patience. Time has helped and healed me of my jealous attitude. I busied myself with work and other distractions in hopes that those feelings would disappear. For a good while, they did. But recently, they have come back. They didn't return as they were. This time they are feelings of guilt and doubt. I know it's not completely true...but I can't help but think that if I could change this weakness or...

PAIN DEMANDS TO BE FELT

As much as I try to ignore that statement, it always comes back and tries me again and again until I do. It’s been five years now since our run-in with the doctors, the treatments, the poison, the hospital stays, the pet/ct scans, the sleepless nights, the chills and sweats, the weird appetites, and the exhaustion that cancer brings. For those of you who don’t know, my wonderful husband was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in December of 2008, just eighteen months after being married. We caught it early and he has been cancer free since 2009. We are blessed…it could have been far, far worse. But, I’m not writing today to tell the story of how it all went down. That will be one of the concluding chapters in the Love Story I am writing here on this little blog of mine, so stay tuned. I’m writing today to try and release some of the built up, anxious, overwhelming, and painful feelings that I still harbor in hopes of suppressing forever. Those hopes, as I have realized t...

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why is this so hard?

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