CHAPTER 11 - I KNEW THAT YOU MEANT IT

That next day Thomas' family was headed to Colorado for a cousin's wedding meaning I wouldn't see him for almost a week! Luckily my schedule kept me pretty busy so I didn't have a lot of time to focus on it. Thursday night he called me after a long day of wedding festivities. He wandered the streets of his aunt's subdivision while we talked. At one point he paused to sit on the curb in front of a stranger's rose bush. We talked about the week's events including the msn message again and the wedding he had just been to. This led to a deeper discussion, which eventually led to the words, "I love you." I couldn't agree more and said them back.

It was true. I was in love with him. I didn't want to say it unless I really meant it, and I meant it. Even though I was only seventeen, I knew that he was an amazing person and that he really, truly cared for me. It was easy to love him. I wanted him to know that I was his, that I loved him too.

When he returned that next week, we went rollerblading around Jensen's Grove with a few friends. The whole time I just wanted him to hold my hand! (I should've just grabbed his hand instead! haha.)

That night I wrote about the events of the day and the many emotions that were running through my heart and mind. Thomas was scheduled to move to Provo to start college at BYU in just a couple of weeks. He was also considering going with some friends to California for the entire week before, which would have been our last week to hang out. I didn't want to hold him back from going, but I wanted more time with him before he left for what seemed like forever. I didn't want things to change.

My parents were also concerned that things were moving too fast and that we were getting too serious. (Little did they know that the L-word had already been said by that point.) 

During a movie, a couple of days later, he held my hand for the first time since last year. I was so excited! (I mean, we'd already declared our love for each other and we hadn't even held hands or kissed yet! haha.) A few days later he invited me to go to Lagoon with his family, but I said no, I didn't want to interrupt his family's trip. Looking back...I should have gone. They wouldn't have cared a bit and it would've been so fun. 

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Since the Valentine's dance in February when Thomas told me that he owed me, he had not officially taken me on a "real" date. He said he wanted it to be special. On August 26, 2004, one day before he moved to Provo, we embarked on our "real" date, with Chris and Elyssa in the backseat. We headed to Idaho Falls for dinner and a movie. We went to dinner at Sizzler's, one of my favorite places at the time. To kill time before the movie, we wandered around Barnes and Noble, one of Thomas' favorite stores. 

We soon made our way to Edward's cinema to watch the newly released Napoleon Dynamite. We held hands as I leaned on his arm during the movie. It was magical. Afterwards we headed home to be there by curfew, listening to "Hands Down" the whole way. We drove to Elyssa's house first. Since she lived just a few houses down from mine, Thomas leaned over and asked if I wanted to walk to my house. When they got out to go to Elyssa's door, we too got out and started our walk. 

We talked about the shooting stars we saw on our way home from the movie. Shooting starts were a rare occasion for me to see, but that night I saw three or four...so I knew it would be a special night. We continued to walk down the wet street with the few lights dim around us. Just before we reached my front stairs, he paused and quickly kissed me. I didn't see it coming, so afterwards I leaned in for a hug, not knowing what else to do. He pulled back and asked "Can we try that again?" I smiled, and we did. "It was perfect! I don't know how else to explain it!" (from the journal). 

I walked inside and he ran back to the car...Chris totally knew what happened by that point. I went in to the table where my mom was sitting, as she usually was, waiting for me to return from a date. I slowly sat down with a big sigh and a smile on my face. She knew it. I couldn't hide it. We had kissed! I was on cloud nine for a long time that night...hehe.

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That next day he came to my house one more time before he moved to Provo. It was a quick visit. We kissed as I wished him goodbye. Reluctantly, he got in his car and with tears in my eyes I stood and watched him from my driveway until his car disappeared.

The summer that we spent falling in love was over...and he was gone...