CHAPTER 5 - SUMMER CAME AS SUMMERS DO

The rest of the school year went by quickly with just a few weeks left in the year. June brought friends' birthday parties, Ashley's baptism, girls camp in Utah, and the Manti Pageant. I had waited so patiently for July to come for EFY, pool time with my friends, and summer jobs for people in my ward. 

August 15th was a Friday night and like most years, there was a five-stake dance to celebrate the starting of a new school year. I was excited to see friends from school, especially a boy I had a crush on. I remember waiting near the stage of the Blackfoot Stake Center hoping this boy would show up because he said he would, even though I knew these types of things weren't his favorite. 

Near the end of the evening, with a sad heart, I decided it had been a waste of time and that I would head home early. That's when I saw Thomas come in a door on the opposite side of the gym. I hadn't talked or seen him all summer until that moment. My heart fluttered as I raced through what I might say if he came near. The next song was a slow one and before I knew it, we were dancing. I don't remember anyone else being there...but we danced...just the two of us... 

That night I wrote in my journal: "...Thomas Park asked me 2 dance and I wasn't even nervous!!!...I really do miss 'going out' w/ him. He's such an awesome kid. One of the best I'd have 2 say."

(Didn't realize until tonight that little teenage me used to shorten words. haha.)

School started on August 27th and on the 29th we had our "Back to School" assembly. It was supposed to be outside, but I think it was too hot, so they moved it to the gym (the old gym, the old, awesomer gym). Since I was now a junior, I got to sit in the lower section with my other classmates. 

That day, I was sitting near the top row on the side closest to the front of the school when I saw him...the new Student Body President: Mr Thomas Park. My heart instantly sank...I was torn inside and I didn't know why. I watched him direct the assembly, out there in his baggy khaki pants, full of confidence and joy. There I sat, wishing I was still his. Wishing we were at least friends. Wishing we could still talk. The dance a few weeks before was wonderful, but nothing had come of it. I didn't know if I wanted something to come or not...I just knew, in that moment, that I really missed him...

and it was all my fault.