IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE AND I DON'T KNOW IF IT EVER WILL

I got up before 6:00 this morning and stayed up. I think it has been over 2 years since I did that last. When I was going to bed last night I dreaded getting up, but when I saw the beautiful sun and clear blue sky, I was instantly happy. It's moments like these...the moments I dread beforehand, but end up loving, that remind me how special life is. It also reminds me that life is only special if I let it be. It's my choice. No one else's. I could've hated every minute of this morning, but I didn't. I chose to love it and that made all difference. 

Something else I'm learning to appreciate is my education. I was recently informed that my beloved Interior Design bachelorette program is being discontinued at BYUI. Don't ask me why. It makes absolutely no sense. That program helped define me for who I am today. I was shy and uncertain of my talents. The professors took me under their wings and helped me discover my love and ability for design. That program taught me professionalism, how to meet deadlines, self respect, confidence in my abilities, appreciation for beauty, how to be a leader, how to speak in front of people, how do draw, how to render, how visualize a 3-dimensional space in my head and put it on paper, how to teach others, how to be patient with myself, and how to serve others in even the most hectic times. The faculty and students were there for me and Thomas during some of our most challenging times ever. They strengthened me and supported me in ways no one else could have. I met some of my life-long, best friends there. And I am extremely sad and disappointed that they are letting it go. 

Can I just ask, what's wrong with having a department that challenges people to do their best? What's wrong with some competition to get in the program, isn't that the real world? What's wrong with being nationally accredited by both CIDA and NKBA? We were one of only a handful of schools in the nation to be! What's wrong with having professionals on the other side of the country know BYUI's Interior Design program? What's wrong with having multiple students per semester winning national competitions and scholarships?  What's wrong with having a program that doesn't accept the masses? Isn't that what makes us different? Isn't that what makes us special? Isn't that what makes us marketable? 

Obviously, I'm a little bitter. And I'm not sorry. I loved that department and the people there more than I can ever express. No one will ever know how much they changed my life. I'm so sad to think that others won't get the chance to be changed for the better. 

I'm so grateful that I had the chance to be apart of such a great department and community. I'm so grateful for the people I met, the friends I made, the skills I gained, the memories I have, and the love I felt for them, for myself as a daughter of God, and for the love for those whom I will touch with the skills I gained throughout my life. 

I will appreciate it always. I will stand for it always. I will treasure the memories and skills I now have because of many sacrificed hours on many people's behalf. Thank you for everyone who has touched my life. Thank you to everyone's support and goodness towards me during those four years of my life...four of the craziest, most stressful, BEST years of my life.